1. Computing

Horrible, No-Good, Nasty, Worst-Ever Virus

Quick! Tell Everyone You Know And Even People You Don't Know

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  • If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.

    It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code and screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 900 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

    IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.

    It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company! It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine.

    If the "Bedtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

    It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your Skim milk with whole milk.

    ******* WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. *******

    And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you ,sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you. Send to everyone.

    For those who may not have caught on yet- THIS IS A JOKE!

I received the joke hoax above from a friend and thought it illustrated the point well. It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Of course you wouldn't fall for that. Even if you were hooked into thinking that maybe there really is something called "subspace field harmonics" that can scratch your CD's from afar, you hopefully realized that this was a joke by the time you got to the part about it drinking all of your beer.

While this is an extreme example, it isn't that far off from some of the chain-mail and spam hoaxes that people fall for every day. The little boy in England dying of cancer does not want you to send him any more greeting cards. Congress will not be voting any day now on a bill to implement a modem tax. Neither Microsoft nor Disney has implemented any next-generation email tracking system that will make you rich if you just forward the email.

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